Does online dating work?

Many of our readers are very confused about the effectiveness of online dating. They are bombarded with ads and sales pitches which make them even more confused. As Lisa in Arlington, Virginia, writes, "I am getting very confusing messages about Internet dating. Before I sign up with an online dating website, I want to know what to expect so that I can pick the right service and also plan ahead on what should I expect to pay. Can you share with us the experience of your readers?"

We think that in a lot of ways, we see in online dating hype an analogy with pheromones. So what our readers are telling us is that online dating works but don't expect results overnight though we have heard from couples who actually meet the RIGHT ONE but also have a lot of fun doing it.

What does online dating provide?

• Access of a lot more singles than you can find in the offline world, so that you have better chances of finding someone with a good fit with you.
• It literally works while you sleep. Joking aside, what we mean is that in the offline world, you need to be physically in the company of singles making an effort to establish contact with someone you think might have a fit with you for the system to work. With online dating, once you publish your personal profile, then even when you are not online, other singles will look at your profile, send you messages, or put you on their shortlist of interesting candidates..
• You have complete privacy. Let us say that you like to be tied up in bed or you enjoy having snakes as pets. While at a singles bar, you might not be able to say things like this openly (you could be ridiculed right away or people might roll their eyes or even think of you as someone odd or weird), but with online dating, not only can you say exactly who you are, you can also say what you want. Because, there is someone like you somewhere with the same personality waiting to meet you. Such matches are possible only when enough people can be in the same location.

How to take advantage of online dating?

1. Do your research. Visit as many online dating websites as you can and analyze the type of members that they have in their database. Most online dating websites will also let you also try the system for a week or two. So sign up and then test the system to see if it is for you.
2. Stay away from FREE websites. Nothing good is generally free. If a company invests all the resources to put together a decent website that works, provide customer service, then they have to charge customers. The other thing is that you will find a lot of losers on free websites. So if you are committed to find a relationship of your dreams, then you will have to pay. Yes, the monthly charge can add up pretty quickly, so sign up for several months to take advantage of the discount (yes, it can take months before you find the right one) or read our article on budget online dating.
3. Be honest. Do not lie. Even if you are married and are looking to cheat, you better say that. You will be better off by telling the truth up front.
4. Take the time to write your personal ad. Think of it as your resume for a job search. That is the only piece of information people have about you. Be creative. Ask a friend for help. Read other people's ads to get new ideas. Look at yourself and see what makes you different. Write it down. The more interesting your personal ad is the better your chances at succeeding with online dating.
5. Get a good photo. For God's sake, just invest in a good digital camera.
6. Be patient. It will take time to find the right one.
7. Be responsive. When someone writes to you, always send a reply, even if you are not interested. This is an important courtesy in online dating.
8. Don't do anything that can come to hurt you later. For example, do not email photos in suggestive poses even if you like the person. It is best to have a relationship first before you email anything like that. Similarly, do not anything like that on a webcam or send suggestive emails.
9. Don't waste your time on someone who is not working out for you. At any point you have a right to terminate the contact but be polite and elegant. Remember, news travels fast on the Internet. If you piss someone off, they can go bitch about you elsewhere.
10. Have fun. Online dating doesn't have to be stressful (like offline dating is). Think of it as a great way to meet new people. Hopefully, you will also fall in love with someone.

Recommended reading: How to make a man commit after you meet him?