Satisfy her not; someone else will
In our article discussing intimacy among couples, we had emphasized that it is not always straightforward to understand your partner's needs. This lack of communication among couples can lead to all sorts of complications, including a dissatisfied partner who is more likely to seek it elsewhere.
Let us take a look at Diane's case. She says, "My husband and I were intimate off and on before we got married. He had slept with a lot of women before the marriage. I amm 6 six years older and in GREAT shape (I'm 40, he's 34). However the DAY we got married, he NEVER wanted to be intimate AGAIN. Made EVERY excuse I have ever heard of. We were intimate just 3 times in the first 5 months and somehow I still got pregnant and that was the END of ALL physical contact between us. I did everything you have said in your article (Physical intimacy needed for stronger relationships - Tips on how to get in the mood) and cried and begged. After 18 months and his refusal to go to counseling, I finally found someone else to at least hold and kiss me. Though my new friend and I have never been intimate, the touching feels nice. Yet now that my husband sees me finding someone else...he wants to be physically intimate with me and work things out. I agree IF there is no really intimacy, people find it somewhere else. I was married for 15 years before and understand how important intimacy is in making or breaking the relationship, There are many other things that have affected the marriage (he's been unemployed for months and doesn't take care of himself anymore either). It's just sad that it happens more than anyone would like."
What can couples do to make sure that they are there for each other both physically and emotionally?
Let us take a look at Diane's case. She says, "My husband and I were intimate off and on before we got married. He had slept with a lot of women before the marriage. I amm 6 six years older and in GREAT shape (I'm 40, he's 34). However the DAY we got married, he NEVER wanted to be intimate AGAIN. Made EVERY excuse I have ever heard of. We were intimate just 3 times in the first 5 months and somehow I still got pregnant and that was the END of ALL physical contact between us. I did everything you have said in your article (Physical intimacy needed for stronger relationships - Tips on how to get in the mood) and cried and begged. After 18 months and his refusal to go to counseling, I finally found someone else to at least hold and kiss me. Though my new friend and I have never been intimate, the touching feels nice. Yet now that my husband sees me finding someone else...he wants to be physically intimate with me and work things out. I agree IF there is no really intimacy, people find it somewhere else. I was married for 15 years before and understand how important intimacy is in making or breaking the relationship, There are many other things that have affected the marriage (he's been unemployed for months and doesn't take care of himself anymore either). It's just sad that it happens more than anyone would like."
What can couples do to make sure that they are there for each other both physically and emotionally?
- Talk, talk, talk. Try to understand your partner. Ask questions and listen carefully.
- Empathize. Try to step into her or his shoes, and see things from another perspective.
- You gotta do a lot of things even if you hate them if you want to keep your relationship.
- Seek help. There is a lot out there: therapists, websites, videos, books, friends, family members, etc.
Recommended article: Tips for a satisfying relationship - How to make sure that your partner's expectations are met
posted by eCreativa Media | 8:08 PM
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