Moving on after breakup
In response to a question from a woman from California who could not move on after a breakup, we had done a story Knowing when it is time to move on after the relationship is over. After reading it, we have heard from Tanya, who seems to have an identical situation.
Tanya writes, "I was with my now ex-boyfriend for 20 months and suddenly he went out on a Friday night the weekend that I had my 9-year old daughter, which was fine if he had only told me. The next day he didn't call me at all. I eventually called him later that afternoon. I asked him why he hadn't called me at all that day and he said that he didn't know why. I asked him, well, you must not have thought of me at all today and he said he had. So I asked again why didn't you call, it's not like you to do this often. Again he replied, "I don't know". So I told him he needs to know what he wants and he said, "I don't know what to say". So I said, "You need to know" and I hung up. That next morning he called and invited my daughter and I to breakfast. I said I couldn't because I had a plumber coming to the house and I had to be here. He said, "OK, then I will talk to you later. I called him and invited him to lunch; he joined us for lunch and I acted pissed to him but I was hurt, not mad. The next morning I joined him at his house for coffee. We had an incredible time in bed and everything seemed ok but I felt something was wrong. I left him that morning, went to work and he called me after I got off work. He was in a great mood. Then I brought up again the topic of him going out, and I hung up on him again. He didn't call me back and I didn't hear from him for 2 days after that, until Wednesday night I received an e-mail from him. He was breaking up with me over the Internet which was a slap in my face. His reasoning was he didn't love me as much as I loved him and that he didn't see a future for us. I was so devastated and heartbroken. This was a man I had given my heart and soul to. I truly know that he was my soul mate, I have never loved anyone as much as I love him still. I did and gave everything to him. Not money, but my love and caring for him. I have seen him twice since the break-up because I had to get my things out of his house since we lived together for a while then we broke up and went back together but lived separately. I am trying so hard to move on but it is so hard. But I can't move away from my home because my mom and kids are here and I couldn't leave them. Do you have anything to say that can help me move on?"
Here are a few important points to note:
Tanya writes, "I was with my now ex-boyfriend for 20 months and suddenly he went out on a Friday night the weekend that I had my 9-year old daughter, which was fine if he had only told me. The next day he didn't call me at all. I eventually called him later that afternoon. I asked him why he hadn't called me at all that day and he said that he didn't know why. I asked him, well, you must not have thought of me at all today and he said he had. So I asked again why didn't you call, it's not like you to do this often. Again he replied, "I don't know". So I told him he needs to know what he wants and he said, "I don't know what to say". So I said, "You need to know" and I hung up. That next morning he called and invited my daughter and I to breakfast. I said I couldn't because I had a plumber coming to the house and I had to be here. He said, "OK, then I will talk to you later. I called him and invited him to lunch; he joined us for lunch and I acted pissed to him but I was hurt, not mad. The next morning I joined him at his house for coffee. We had an incredible time in bed and everything seemed ok but I felt something was wrong. I left him that morning, went to work and he called me after I got off work. He was in a great mood. Then I brought up again the topic of him going out, and I hung up on him again. He didn't call me back and I didn't hear from him for 2 days after that, until Wednesday night I received an e-mail from him. He was breaking up with me over the Internet which was a slap in my face. His reasoning was he didn't love me as much as I loved him and that he didn't see a future for us. I was so devastated and heartbroken. This was a man I had given my heart and soul to. I truly know that he was my soul mate, I have never loved anyone as much as I love him still. I did and gave everything to him. Not money, but my love and caring for him. I have seen him twice since the break-up because I had to get my things out of his house since we lived together for a while then we broke up and went back together but lived separately. I am trying so hard to move on but it is so hard. But I can't move away from my home because my mom and kids are here and I couldn't leave them. Do you have anything to say that can help me move on?"
Here are a few important points to note:
- It seems that you took the meaning of the word "soulmate" lightly. Yes, you loved him a lot but it seems that he did not. And that is why you were not soulmate which is a mutual relationship. That is what makes it so hard for you to move on. You loved him like you have never loved anything, as you said, and you are just having a hard time accepting that reality.
- A breakup by a man is like rejection. And women are not too good when it comes to handling rejection. Read a series of articles here on how to deal with rejection.
- Yes, Beth in the previous story did move on because she moved out of state and that gave her a fresh start.
- It is not impossible to find happiness after you breakup. Here are more tips on finding happiness after your relationship ends.
Related reading
posted by eCreativa Media | 5:42 PM
<< Home